A Martha!

Jeff, kids, anyone . . . don’t you care that I have to do all of the housework around here!  Will someone wipe the table and counters off before the our home is infested with ants!  Whose going to make a grocery list and go shopping?  I swear that laundry reproduces faster than rabbits! I am really hoping there are some ladies of the house,(a.k.a. means “Martha”), that struggle with wanting an organized house- a Martha Stewart magazine look alike (no pun, intended)!  However, I am noticing that even though one may achieve a “neater” home with toys hidden and eye-level dust gone, for me, this does not produce a happy, peaceful home. Somehow, Mary, in the Bible, had the right idea when she sat at Jesus’ feet, hanging onto His every word.  She was the youngest of the two sisters but was certainly the “wiser” of the two.  Interestingly, it doesn’t appear that Martha ever did sit down and learn from Jesus?  In Luke 10:40, Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. (Sound familiar?) She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” Whereas Mary, which means “wise woman”, wanted to linger at Jesus’ feet. Later on, Mary would be the same one to purchase expensive perfume to wash Jesus’ feet and dry them off with her long hair (John 12:1-11).  It is almost as if “she knew” that Jesus was the Messiah and would would soon die on the cross so that each of us may have eternal life–that is, if we accept Him as our Savior.  Did she learn all of this from sitting down at his feet?  After all, the Lord gently rebukes Martha in Luke 10, verse 41: “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, ⁴² but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

Somehow, I have allowed myself to be thrown into the hamster wheel of life, always something else to clean, prepare, or shop for.  Sadly, my newest addition still calls Jeff, “Mommy” on occassion.  At first, I thought this was amusing and even joked about purchasing Jeff a blond wig.  Now, I am saddened of how I have been sucked into the “Martha” mentality.  I also realize that this second adoption has had more challenges: aging parents, relocating them closer to us, and feeling led to home school all of my children.

So, what’s next?  Have I shattered any chance of forming a complete attachment to my daughter?  Absolutely, not–after all, I have the Lord’s bountiful grace, and through my weakness, the Lord’s power will emerge!  When one adopts, attachment and bonding are life-long processes; as parents, we need to be constantly aware of the “Marthas” that sneak into our precious family life.  And now, I need to acclimate and write my new goals down.  This will hold me accountable and prayerfully, it will encourage others, too.  I do have to confess that writing goals down does seem a little bit like Martha-yes?

Goals

1.   To hold my daughter in my lap during all meals, to cuddle her in bed every morning and night

2.  To play with toys, sing songs, do crafts, rock & read, and do errands/chores together

3.  To have shower/lotion time or go swimming more–skin to skin contact creates that bond

4.  To allow my lists and agendas be flexible–does it really matter if there are dishes in the sink?

5.  To be flexible with homeschooling this year and allow the Lord to lead not Jenni